10 In LIFE/ Vent Sesh

Vent Sesh: Body Image Birthday Reflections

Some days I look in the mirror, and think, this is one cute chick. My jeans make the tush look good, my dark circles are magically gone, and wow, my waves look right off a sandy beach.

And other times, the more insecure side of me — the one where I was 30 pounds heavier for much of my life — rears itself. I see under arm flab, dimples on my thighs, fine lines around my face, and a tush I wish was more toned.

I know I’m not alone. Friends regularly dismiss compliments and discuss their flaws, frustrations and insecurities every day. This is universal issue whether size 0, 6 or 16. It’s like that absurd scene in Mean Girls where each girl tears herself down in front of the mirror.

Friends, let’s stop it. Accept that worthy compliment, look in the mirror, and take pride.

I’m now 36 and refuse to live another day bringing myself down.

My birthday (last week) is always a major reflection time for me. If you’ve been reading here a while, you know that on my 30th birthday I became paralyzed, couldn’t urinate, had a whole bunch of other crap… we didn’t know what the hell was happening. My daughter was 4 months old and I spent a month in the hospital, and many more months learning how to walk again, building strength to carry my daughter, and basically function regularly. We learned it was due to a rare neurological condition called transverse myelitis.

It was in those early days when I was working to build back up my body that I promised myself that these legs are powerful. This body can accomplish anything and that I’d only speak from a place of praise and pride. Our bodies are capable of so much. It’s honestly phenomenal.My personal belief is that if there’s something you don’t like, fix it or accept it. I work out because I love the way it makes my body (and brain!) feel, and truth, I might get a breast implants this year because mine, for various reasons, have frustrated me for years.

I went away on spring break last week and while at this big pool/splash park place with my kids, I just lived it up in my bikini. In the past, I’ve been anxious feeling like I’m walking around in my bra and underwear in front of hundreds of strangers but I just went for it.All about Body Image

This body, all of it, provided me so much joy. I went down slides with my kids (so freaking fun), carried my little son around the pool as his sweet little body clung to me, and I swam and laughed it up. It also helped get me to the bar for a cocktail, because you know, priorities. And, without sounding boastful (though what the hell!), I am proud of how I look! I’ve worked really hard over the years to be, mentally and physically, the person I am today.

I get that we’re not all the same shape and size and we’re all dealing with stuff. Trust me, I get that I’m now a more petite size than I was years ago however I oddly notice more little things that I swear I did at heavier weights.

Find a way to love you, or at least not let that part of your brain that rips you down, overshadow all that’s awesome. You’re worthy of way more.

More Great Content

Join the Conversation

  • Reply
    April 7, 2016 at 7:33 AM

    I love this! I am also working on body confidence. Bring on the bikini!

  • Reply
    April 2, 2016 at 8:02 AM

    You look amazing Alyson! Loving the positivity you always spread…I need to be more like you!

  • Reply
    April 1, 2016 at 8:40 AM

    umm.. hello killer bod you’ve been hiding from us! abs. you have abs! that’s something to be proud of! I know you’ve said you were a weight watchers lifer, but have you talked about your workouts? what’s your routine like? totally interested.

    • Reply
      April 1, 2016 at 1:38 PM

      Blushing, thanks for making my day, Ashley!! My workouts are not exciting at all… I wish I could workout more often but I get to my gym 2x/week — usually weekends — and do 30ish minutes of cardio, and about 20 minutes of weights, sit-ups. When I would work out at home I swore by a pilates video that really targeted my midsection. Made such a quick difference! I try to use those same moves now.

  • Reply
    March 31, 2016 at 4:29 PM

    I love this post Alyson! I feel the same way, although I think no matter who you are, we all see our own flaws magnified. Did you ever see that Amy Schumer skit about how women can’t accept complements? So tru and hilarious!!! http://www.huffingtonpost.com/emma-gray/amy-schumer-compliments-sketch_b_3294476.html

    Good luck you implant decision. I had mine done after being pregnant and nursing for 4 years straight and it was the right decision for me. I’d be happy to chat about it if you have any questions!

  • Reply
    Tina Alva
    March 31, 2016 at 2:16 PM

    Thank you for this post. I found your link on MixMatchFashion and was intrigued by the blog’s name. I’m glad I clicked! Thank you for your positive message and yes, you look fantastic in a bathing suit! I am glad you let those insecurities go and enjoyed the day with your children. Nothing is more beautiful than really living 🙂

  • Reply
    March 31, 2016 at 10:43 AM

    I really like what you’ve said here. I lost about 30-35 lbs. a year and a half ago. Right now, I find myself oscillating with those 5 lbs….up and down. It’s really not that big a deal in the whole scheme of things, but it becomes a BIG deal in my head. I’m a runner, and I fight myself constantly…did I run too little? Did I not do the right kind of work outs? Did I strength train too much? Too little? Is this 5 lbs going to add seconds to my times? Minutes? It’s craziness. At times, I feel much bigger and more insecure than I ever was 30 pounds ago. I have to remind myself of all the amazing things this body can do…and continues to do…no matter what the number on the scale says.

    • Reply
      April 1, 2016 at 1:41 PM

      I know it’s difficult but consider trying not to weigh yourself for a month. We all know that clothes are the best gauge. After losing weight I also was super fixated, and isn’t it weird to notice smaller details on your body that you did at a heavier weight? I can be the same and I realized it’s not worth it. You should really celebrate how far you’ve come, and as long as you are active, you’re doing amazing. Give yourself credit. Changing the mindset can be the most powerful. Congrats on the weight loss, Morgan; it makes such an overall difference on your health!!!

  • Reply
    Janis johnson
    March 31, 2016 at 8:56 AM

    You have such a pretty figure, and look great in that bathing suit!! You go girl! ~Janis from http://jljbacktoclassic.com/

  • Reply
    Eddy Gee
    March 31, 2016 at 8:13 AM

    Love it 🙂 Doing a great job!

  • Leave a Reply

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

    Send this to friend