Five Lessons on How to Embrace Who You are Meant to Be

Since I began blogging, I’ve learned a few things. Mainly through connecting with an incredibly broad range of women across the country over the past nine years. Out of all of the things I’ve learned, one very important one was how to embrace who you are meant to be.

Women are so much stronger than they realize or give them credit for. Yes, I mean you, the one reading this right now. Yet, I realize women invest so much time on things they cannot control. They often do not give themselves credit for what they do well, and often let others or situations create “valid excuses” for why they aren’t fully living into their greatness, going after their goals and wholeheartedly embracing who they are meant to be.

Any of this sound familiar? These are the real truths holding so many women back from really living, from creating a life we will look back on and be proud of, about fueling our heart and our soul, and in turn, creating joy for ourselves and those around us. You pursuing your dreams takes nothing away from anyone else. Remember that. Because, when you finally take the time to truly learn how to embrace who you are meant to be, it only makes you, your family, your community, and all of us better for having you here.

So, how do you take the leap? You jump. Ok, you put one foot in front of the other and you simply start. You also have to realize these five facts so you can start living into who you’re meant to be.

How to Embrace Who You are Meant to Be

You cannot and will not please everyone.

Ha, please everyone! As if. I can’t even get through a family meal without someone getting annoyed. You get the idea. No matter what you do, someone will not be pleased, someone will not support you, and worse, someone might say nasty things about you. The thing is, that’s their fears and insecurities at play. Even when it’s done with good intentions, family members or friends could supposedly be trying to protect you from “hurt” and “failure.” You focus on what you know is right.

Not everyone thinks the way you do.

I have to remind myself of this daily, and it’s a tough one. I move quick, I have strong opinions (maybe it’s the native New Yorker in me?!), and I also think I often have pretty good ideas. Maybe that’s the creative brain / marketing/ communications professional in me.

Either way, I also know I have so, so much that I can learn from others. And, everyone comes to every situation with a lifetime worth of other experiences… they don’t think the way you do. Be patient, listen. Then decide. Sometimes I’ve been right but working with a therapist has been eye opening; there have been times where I’ll admit while I still might not get it or how I’d approach a situation, she helped me understand what was likely going through someone else’s head and how often no one is out to get you — we all just think differently. Remembering this is invaluable.

People serve different roles in your life, just as you do in theirs.

Ever hear the expression, “people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime?” As I was navigating some changing friendships 4-5 years ago, someone shared this with me. It was profound. Maybe a person isn’t in your life forever, but for a reason. Maybe someone is fantastic at creative brainstorming but they’re never going to be your date night couple.

Don’t get hung up on the idea that one person has to serve so many roles in your life. I’ve been there. Realizing that someone might fall into one of the other buckets might be challenging…. yet also affirming that while they might not serve in the capacity you intended, your connection is still meaningful. Appreciate people, friends, loved ones for the value that they bring and that you bring to them.

You cannot serve everyone well if you do not first serve yourself.

Self care is such a hot topic, likely because women have been neglecting themselves for far too long. It’s particularly prevalent with mamas and it hurts my heart to see. Do you take care of yourself? Do you take time for you? To nurture your soul? To move and fuel your body? Of course we all have seasons of insane chaos where these things get neglected — and heading into the holidays is ever a season if there was one! — but it’s so important your health and well-being. This is how you show up best for everyone else.

Fact: I am better able to serve my family and my community when I feel good, strong, healthy and empowered. I see a therapist, go to the gym, take yoga classes, go on girls nights, travel, have solo time getting a pedicure… these are not selfish acts, they enable me to show up each day as the best version of myself — the best woman, mother, wife, professional, friend and relative. I honestly would serve as well in any of these capacities if I didn’t take care of myself. You need to do the same for yourself. You need to learn how to embrace who you are meant to be so that you too can honestly and unapologetically care for yourself. Which in turn, will allow you to more easily care for those around you.

People will think your dreams are stupid / unattainable.

This is a fact. Remember that no one who has been where you are going would ever diminish or downplay your dreams. This is often their own fears and insecurities talking. It has very little and probably, nothing to do with you.

It’s one thing for someone to think any of these things, it’s another for you to take it as fact, believe it, and then not let your dreams come to fruition. I refuse to look back 30 years from now and realize I never did what I knew I could kick ass at doing because Karen over there was talking smack.

I mean think about that… how freaking foolish would that be? All the people talking now. We probably won’t know most of them, and anyone who supports me, wants me to achieve all the greatness. And, I want them to stand with me in my light, it’s never my shadow (an expression I once heard Oprah’s friend Gayle say, and I love it so much).

Stay in your lane, focus on you and what you know you can bring to this world. That is what matters and how you will succeed at learning how to embrace who you are meant to be.

What are some things you’ve learned about how to embrace who you are meant to be? Share in a comment below!