That Weird Age… Approaching 40

So I’m not “old.”

But at nearly 38, I’m somehow not young anymore.

I didn’t just graduate college.

I wasn’t just a 20-something who had no food in her fridge, and slept in until 10 am with no kids or worries.

I laugh about the girl who would first go out at 10 or 11 pm.

Who was that chick? How was she not tired all the time?

My dream in life is to be in my pajamas by 6 pm.

Cozy clothes make me oddly happy. Give me a pair of joggers and a cozy cardigan and I’m yours.

Is it a problem when you own more comfy clothes than going out clothes?

(don’t answer that).

Now my pre-party game is drinking a triple shot concoction so I can stay awake long enough to do a 7:30 pm girls dinner. Don’t judge, I did that last week.

And, I obviously want to be home by 10 pm. After that 11 pm is late night partying.

And, dare I start talking specific numbers…

When did I become closer to 40 than I did to 30?

When did I become this full-fledged adult?

This year is my TWENTIETH high school reunion.

I’m sorry, what?! That’s not possible.

I was just going to high school football games and youth group conventions. Yup, I was really cool like that… and I loved every second of it.

I now have nearly TWENTY YEARS of professional experience.

I remember being 26 years old, trying to prove myself to the white haired men who thought I absolutely couldn’t be smart since I just graduated college.

Obviously, the joke was on them.

But now, I’m a nearly 40 year old who has the years of wisdom behind her.

In meetings or when I volunteer, people take my word for fact because with age, they assume you know what you’re talking about… and I guess I look like I have enough wisdom to know what I’m talking about.

I also never get carded anymore.

A friend around the same age told me that recently she was at a register — and instead of asking to see her license — the gal said, can I see your face? So she looked up, and got in response, “Yeah, you’re good.”

Talk about soul crushing.

That said, some people think getting older is scary.

I don’t.

Because it’s not.

I know what I want. Even though I know far from everything.

Now when I don’t know certain things, I smart enough to admit I don’t know them. I can ask for help.

I am wise enough to understand some friends are worth fighting for.

And others were never friends at all.

I can afford to order what I want on the menu.

And, best of all, have a little extra to surprise treat a friend for lunch.

I understand the value of picking up the phone to call older relatives we’re still lucky enough to have.

And, I have wisdom to know that I still have so much to learn.

I know what I’m willing to work for.

And on the days I question it all, I remind myself I still have another 50+ years in my journey so I will figure it out.

We have the power to dictate our own course.

And, if you’re not happy in the direction you’re going, remember that you are absolutely young enough to alter course.

You are always young enough to alter course.

I hear that all the time: I’m too old, I’m too established, I’m too… blah, blah, blah.

You are excuse-ing yourself out of figuring out what you really want.

I might be almost 40, but I have plenty of life to live.

If my nearly 38 years of life has taught me anything it’s that I’m one hell of a strong woman.

And, you are one hell of a strong, determined women.

When I’ve been knocked down, I’ve seen myself rise up.

When someone told me no, I refused to let that stop me.

When someone thought I couldn’t do it, I decided I wouldn’t let their opinion of me determine my worth.

When someone thought my dreams were silly or too big or even too small, I decided I wouldn’t let their vision of success determine mine.

My 20-year old self might have valued myself based on others opinions, but the blessing of age is that we know better.

I am strong, I am determined, I am beautiful, and I am proud for what age has taught me. You should feel the same.

I am capable of everything.

You are capable of everything.

If age has taught us one thing, it’s that we shouldn’t let anyone tell us otherwise.