8 In LIFE/ Vent Sesh

Vent Sesh: No Wonder Woman Here

I'm Not Wonder Woman -- the truth of one woman who admits when she f'ed up when it mattered most and how she's getting off the crazy train

A reader sent me an Instagram message this weekend saying, “You’re like Wonder Woman, I don’t know how you do it all!”

On the surface it’s super flattering. I’ve been hustling (ok, killing myself) the past month or so. Nearly two weeks abroad, birthday parties for both kids, a conference in California and two jobs around the holiday season can really push a woman overboard.

This doesn’t even include the nuts amount of stuff every woman and mom is required to keep in her brain at all times that let’s be honest, no man ever even gives two seconds to thinking about. He doesn’t give two seconds to it because he doesn’t even know these insane to-do lists, errands and things need to happen.

Women can stay up all night trying to check off items in her head.  Men are just there snoring.

So, when this insanely kind reader made this beautiful comment, I said thank you — as you should do when someone pays you a compliment — but it kind of hurt my heart.

It hurt my heart because I feel like I’m failing in ways that are more important.

I have either nearly forgotten or not had a chance to call some of my closest friends for their birthdays the past few weeks. And, I down-right blanked on someone’s birthday who I love and feel grateful for each day. Praise the lord for Facebook reminders but even Facebook couldn’t save me this time.

When I look back on my life I know it’s going to be the relationships that matter most. Not an extra blog post, not a work assignment and not the Frozen decor I knew my son would love for his 4th birthday. Heck, that party was a week ago and he didn’t even notice Elsa and Anna beneath his pizza while the party was happening.

The point is, I’m not Wonder Woman and I realize there’s something really dangerous about social media and the ways we consciously — and often subconsciously — present our lives.

I’m really proud of all that I do accomplish, for my family, for my friends, and for work. But amidst the successes and memory making and inherent chaos of life, there are absolutely times we all know we failed.

It’s OK to admit that and not feel compelled to only show one glimpse of our lives.

I can only apologize to people that matter most. That’s all we can do when we realize we f’up.

We’re human. We move forward and continue to demonstrate the greater part of beings that fiercely care about those closest to us.

Just remember that apologizing is not where it ends.

When something happens once, it can be a fluke but when it keeps happening it’s when you need to come to grips with reality, take a step back, pause, and reflect.

This time of year is only going to get more nuts, if you let it.

Think about how you can slow down. Think about how you can get off the roller coaster. Where you might need to say no in order to preserve what really matters most.

I’m not Wonder Woman — nor am I trying to be.

But I am working each day to be a stronger, more loving, kind and present version of myself.

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  • Reply
    cherry
    December 10, 2017 at 8:51 PM

    I wonder whether all the women around the world is the same.I have the sundry household duties every day. But my husband is always watching TV, reading novel and watching news. How I hope he can do the household duties just like me!

  • Reply
    Shira
    November 20, 2017 at 8:39 PM

    Such an important point- I know present myself a certain way on social media and people think I have everything together when it’s far from the truth. I think acknowledging that we’re human and we’re trying our best is an important place to start though. Because you have so much going on and sometimes we forget things!

    • Reply
      Alyson
      November 27, 2017 at 3:09 PM

      EXACTLY. We’re all human even if we have these lives that put us out there in the public more than others.

  • Reply
    Lauren Small
    November 20, 2017 at 5:36 PM

    Thank you for this post! Even Wonder Woman makes mistakes, right? I feel exactly the same way you do. I miss birthdays all of the time, my house is a cluttered mess almost always, and I definitely don’t take enough time with the people who really matter to me. We do the best we can, and I think you’re doing a pretty damn good job. It looks like that from where I’m sitting anyway. Here’s to being perfectly imperfect and working on getting better. xoxo

    • Reply
      Alyson
      November 27, 2017 at 3:10 PM

      Well you always present yourself so beautifully so I had no idea and frankly, I don’t care! lol, a messy house isn’t what matters right? Doing the best we can and loving those close to us. That’s what matters.

  • Reply
    Kate
    November 20, 2017 at 2:40 PM

    This morning I felt so overwhelmed. I found myself sickeningly looking back with longing(?) for the clarity and simplicity I had three years ago when I learned of my cancer diagnosis and the subsequent year long treatment. At that time all I could manage was taking care of myself and winnowing life down to the people and experiences that mattered the very most to me. Now three years later I am well but somehow I’ve allowed all the unnecessary and superficial busyness to take over again. Thank you for your post today as I try to re-calibrate.

    • Reply
      Alyson
      November 27, 2017 at 3:12 PM

      Hi Kate… you’ve been on my mind since you shared this. I’m so happy to hear you’re doing well. I totally know what you mean. Years ago after my diagnosis (neurological condition) I felt exactly the same. I swore I’d never do or think certain things but that’s reality. When we’re sick it really prioritizes but then, there’s life and what we let in. All we can do is go back to those most important moments and focus on those.

  • Reply
    Kimberly
    November 20, 2017 at 7:39 AM

    This could not have come at a better time for me – I was literally crying to my husband last night about how I feel like I’m failing in every area! It’s hard when you have SO MUCH on your plate & you just want to do all the things well. I totally get it & I appreciate your honesty. Social media can paint this picture of perfection & it simply isn’t real. Love you to pieces – and couldn’t care less that you missed my birthday 🙂

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