14 In LIFE/ Vent Sesh

It’s Time to Get Out of a Life Rut

It's time to get out of a life rut... here's how to do it // the modern savvy

Ladies, it’s time to dig yourself out.

Do you default to the same outfit every day?

Are you always putting someone else before you?

The kids need this, must get this for husband or boyfriend, my boss needs this.

You’re running around like a crazy person, and yet it’s rarely for what you need. Or what you want.

Stop. Halt. Breathe. Think.

What are you doing?

Is what you’re doing what you want to be doing?

It’s time you added more joy back to your life. It’s time to focus on you just a little bit more.

Yup, I get it. Most of those things have to get done.  But likely not all. Why are you going to three stores searching for something that someone doesn’t really need?  Can you order something online instead of racing around? Can you delegate to someone else (it’s OK if it’s not done as you would)? What can you cut out? I swear everyone will survive.

Be  still, stop, pause and think. This is your life, too.

As women, we get all of it piled on because people know we’ll get it done.

But that’s not fair.

I joke that I’m a little selfish, but it’s true. And, honestly, it’s no joke. And I’m not ashamed to admit it.

I make time to get manicures, to refresh my closet once in a while, to soak up a few minutes for me.

Does anyone else feel sometimes like life is just passing by?

I recently realized it’s been FIFTEEN years since I graduated college. Seriously, WTF. Where did those years ago? What a blur.

We shouldn’t be OK with letting that kind of time go without getting in some must-deserved time for ourselves.

So start doing things for you:

Be Honest and Define Your Joy. What do you wish you were doing? Do days pass and you’re just on a hamster wheel thinking, “ah, time to go to sleep so I can wake up to do it all again?” It’s an honest, common thing but break the cycle so you can start living your life, too.

Find time, even if it’s just a few minutes a day. Start small (I mean, I’m talking 5 minutes to breathe outside, to research about a course you want to take or text friends to plan a girls night).

Treat yo’self. Update your wardrobe with a fair new pair of heels (a nude pair is an awesome option in lieu of your go-to black), enjoy a manicure or book a massage, take a morning off work to simply lay by the beach or pool or somewhere relaxing to you, go to lunch with a girlfriend, take a personal day, buy yourself beautiful flowers. Treating yourself doesn’t have to cost money… do something to invigorate, refresh you.

Get support. Honestly, it’s all about your network and delegating. My husband, my work team, our nanny and our family are godsends. Not only are they all awesome people, they provide me some flexibility so I can do all of the above. I ask for help, I delegate and I know things won’t get done as I would do it but heck, let it go.

Create a habit. Whether it’s once a week or once per month, find pockets of time dedicated to selfishly fulfilling you.

I promise you that you’ll be a better you for yourself AND for others if you get yourself out a life rut that’s solely focused on serving others. You deserve it.


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  • Reply
    August 1, 2017 at 4:49 PM

    Wow, I really needed this today. I think we all get into ruts and all of our ruts are different. It’s so important for us to take time for ourselves and nurture ourselves.

    • Reply
      August 3, 2017 at 10:49 PM

      Absolutely, Alyssa. It’s important to take the time to recognize it so we can find the right solutions to work through them.

  • Reply
    April 27, 2017 at 7:14 PM

    I needed this read today alyson. The days seem to become an endless list of things to check off to the point where I’m near tears I’m so tired. And, as with most things, it’s often 1 step forward 4 back. So yesterday I booked our family vacation. And you are so right. Just having something to look forward to gave me a whole new lease on life!

    Heidi || Wishes & Reality

    • Reply
      May 1, 2017 at 7:12 PM

      Yayaayayay, Heidi. Having a vacation to look forward to really helps motivate and remind you that there is sunshine and smiles (and hopefully sleep!) on the other end. xo

  • Reply
    April 23, 2017 at 9:23 AM

    great post! YOu are so right! We need to take more time for ourselves. I forget that, having a kid who is special needs and a hubby, YEah I will update my outfits now and then but mental and physical health is so much more important too. I think I am going to book myself a pedi!

    • Reply
      April 24, 2017 at 5:27 PM

      Hope you made that pedi, Stephanie! I agree, it’s so easy to start focusing on all the things in front of us instead of focusing on the needs within us. Hope you can find more time for you.

  • Reply
    Mary Beth Jackson
    April 21, 2017 at 2:26 PM

    Amen! Self love is so important! We have to do something for ourself first, then we can fully love the others 🙂

    • Reply
      April 24, 2017 at 5:27 PM

      EXACTLY! 🙂 Thanks, Mary Beth!

  • Reply
    April 21, 2017 at 10:29 AM

    Amen Alyson! I wouldn’t call it selfish but taking time for self care. So important!


    • Reply
      April 24, 2017 at 5:27 PM

      So true, Shira… not selfish at all, it’s necessary. <3

  • Reply
    April 21, 2017 at 8:51 AM

    Love this post – this has been my year of finally taking stock of my life and making changes for the better because I was definitely stuck in a rut. “Be honest & define your joy” is some of the best advice – when I could truly get real about what made me happy, it made all the difference.

    • Reply
      April 24, 2017 at 5:28 PM

      So happy this resonated with you, Kim. And I’m so proud you have taken these steps to find your joy. Life really does move too fast; we need to ensure that while we’re serving others, that we are also including ourselves in the list of those who are worthy.

  • Reply
    April 21, 2017 at 6:38 AM


    I enjoyed reading this article so much this morning. No one realizes how much time passes until they finally think about certain things. To honest with you, I was just thinking this morning driving into work that I would have been married 17 years tomorrow but my husband was killed in a truck accident four months after we were married. The sad thing is that we were only together for nine months. Such a short time but we loved each other so much. Since his passing I have put my life on hold and all I do is work. This is my outlet. Sorry didn’t mean to ramble but I do agree with you we don’t realize how much time has past and then we wonder I need to do some things for myself. Thank you again for your article, I am sure it will touch a lot of other women. Keep up the great blogging.

    • Reply
      April 24, 2017 at 5:31 PM

      Dianne… I’ve been thinking about your comment since the moment you wrote it. I could feel the love you had for him through your words, and I’m so sorry to hear at the same time that you’ve put your life on hold through this grief. I hope you can find time for you, to find joy in things that could be meaningful to you, and please know, if you’d like… I’m also here via email (hello @ themodernsavvy.com) and would be happy to chat if you need a friendly outlet. Hugs.

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