Whose Life Are You Living?

Whose Life Are You Living by popular Florida lifestyle blogger, The Modern Savvy

I received an email yesterday that nearly brought me to tears.

Happy tears, and also, questioning tears.

I love what I do. I picked my path.

And when I think about other women — close friends, colleagues over the years, women I’ve met — I think most of us can agree that to at least to 70 or 80 percent, we picked our path (or at least general direction).

We wake up deciding what we need to do, and what we want to do.

Or, do we?


It’s really easy to find a path (or have a path find you), and every day continue to wake up and do the same thing over and over.

This is also the easiest way for years to fly by.

Anyone else feel like they’re pressing the reset button each day and all of a sudden hitting a landmark birthday or major moment and have no idea how you got there?

We often don’t realize all this time has gone by until something forces us to stop long enough to realize… “how the heck did I get here (and how the heck am I already this age?!)?”

Even when the actual acts of my days are different, the path continues forward without any unexpected turns or forks in the road.

It’s safe to say many of us avoid the unexpected turns and forks; those are scary and unknown. Most of us don’t like scary and unknown.


In the email I received, someone contacted me after hearing me moderate a panel to see if I could speak to her business about dressing for professional success.

Wait, is she for real?

I’ve always thought it would be really cool to extend what I do here to help style/dress/give tips to women to help them feel their most confident. But I’ve kind of left it there; let it hanging in this space without pushing myself.

As much as I like to think I’m a go-getter, a self-motivating kind of badass woman who is determined to forge her own path, I absolutely still play it safe within the confines of my life.

Even if my life is different than yours and even if my dreams are different, recognize this: I haven’t taken the leap.


Hours pass, then days and weeks, and then all of a sudden we’re nearly half-way through another year.

Why did it take someone else asking me this question to spark a joy in me that I perhaps haven’t felt in some time?

Are you doing the same? Waiting there half-hoping that someone is going to give you the first step toward your spark?


We don’t need to go into a mid-life crisis mode, create complete change or go on some eat, pray, love journey to amend what we’re currently doing. Heck, mama has bills to pay and I love what I’m doing.

But that doesn’t mean we can’t pivot or reallocate our time to make room for new joys and adventures.


When was the last time you stopped to think where you can add joy?

It’s time you start listening to your own heart.

If you decide you want to do something more or different it doesn’t make you selfish, or bad wife or mom or employee.

It perhaps means you have been placing a lot of other people’s happiness above yours for a long time.

You have been placing perspectives of your parents, friends, complete strangers and perhaps even people who have been unkind to you above your own.

Other people often place doubts on what you can do. Somehow we lie to ourselves and somehow take as a truth.

Stop and think.

Has that stopped you, even if you didn’t realize it at first?

Has it created lies you tell yourself about your own capabilities?


Listen to your own heart.

Really listen. Reach deep within yourself.

If you could do anything in the universe, what would it be?

Don’t let labels or titles that were put on you by others as a child or adult dictate who you are today… and most importantly: who you can be tomorrow.

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  • Reply
    April 30, 2018 at 6:32 PM

    I love this Alyson. A reminder I genuinely needed. Actually I probably need this message once a week. Going to share:)

    Heidi || Wishes & Reality

  • Reply
    April 25, 2018 at 9:57 PM

    This post was so thoughtful and heartfelt! I loved it!

    xx, mel

  • Reply
    April 25, 2018 at 8:51 PM

    This speaks to me. I just had my second child a few months ago and am back at a job I don’t love and takes all of my energy. The only problem is I am lost as to what it is that actually interests me or what I want to do. I’m in my early 40s and feel like too much time has passed. Thanks for the great post!

  • Reply
    Christina Carleton
    April 25, 2018 at 7:07 PM

    Love it, A. I turned 46 a few weeks ago and have been feeling this way for a couple months now! So I’m going back to get another degree in my dream
    Job — the one I never thought I could do because of the doubters. And I don’t want to settle anymore! I think it’s exciting when you finally walk the walk and make the changes. It’s terrifying, too, but my small steps are turning into big life moments and OMG it’s totally happening!

  • Reply
    Kimberly Smith
    April 25, 2018 at 6:18 AM

    Wow this post was perfectly timed – such an important message and one I needed to hear!

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