Blogging, when you share personal stuff on the Internet, is kind of weird.
I share bits about my life with no real knowledge about who’s reading it.
I joke with my friends that I’m pretty certain more women I don’t know read my blog than friends do.
(and no worries: not offended! I’m not up on their latest work either).
It’s just that it’s a weird thing going through life never totally knowing if that new person you meet has all this in-depth intel or not.
Yet, I keep sharing and speaking my truth.
I do it because selfishly I often find it cathartic, and most of all, I do it because I believe we could all benefit from being more honest, transparent and open-hearted with each other.
Somehow we all feel like we can or should only put our best selves forward.
As if our whole selves won’t be loved in the same capacity or that we will be judged.
First, that is the furthest thing from the truth. Second, if that happens, they weren’t worth it in the first place.
None of us are perfect.
Each of us has a story, and each of us are likely going through something right now.
I know I wish for sure I didn’t feel like the only one sometimes.
It’s that openness and willing to be vulnerable that creates a deeper, more meaningful connection and love for each other.
It’s why this real girl puts her stuff blindly on the internet about seeing therapists, struggles with weight and body image, about my health, and even getting fired.
I share because I know I wish other women would share more than the “highlight reel” of their lives.
I mean that about my Instagram and Facebook feeds, and in real life as well.
Do you have friends who are seriously awesome but it’s a pretty surface friendship? You talk about what’s going on in your day or what your schedule looks like for the weekend, the latest random frustrating mom moment, and that everything has been “good” or “crazy” lately.
I want depth.
These days, I live for the friends where we can share the depths of our soul as equally as we talk about what dress we’re wearing on Saturday or the absurdity of the Housewives (even though we obviously keep watching). Those friends where if you ask them a question, they know you want the honest answer… and they’ll give it to you straight up because they know you’ll love them even more, without judgement, for their honesty.
Life isn’t always the pretty smiles. In fact, it’s often made up of the messy stuff in between.
The same goes about this little internet world.
As much as I don’t want anyone to struggle, I know I would be comforted to read I’m not the only one who has navigated toxic friendships, depression, trouble getting pregnant, wondering what’s next, tough motherhood moments and anything and everything in between.
Where this gets a little weird is that I’m typing this by my lonesome in my little home office without knowing how far this will reach.
New acquaintances and friends every so often mention how it’s a little weird that they feel like they know so much about me and I know nothing about.
And, it gets a touch more awkward because I’m also super involved in the community. I volunteer, I own a PR company and we are always out and about.
I mean, I shared with the entire universe about getting a boob job.
I’ve literally put it all out there.
But you know what?
I’m really proud of stretching beyond my comfort zone because the most meaningful work I have ever done on this blog is as a result of sharing.
I still remember the emails from five years ago after I shared that I couldn’t carry more children. I cry thinking about women who said they couldn’t handle one more friend’s baby bump or newborn photo; I get it.
I’m insanely grateful that our road to adoption opened up my heart and mind in such a profound way that I can’t imagine my life any other way. And I’m happy to share that because there are women struggling with big family decisions and feel like none of their friends can relate. I get it. I’ve been on both sides and I’m here for you.
I save emails from women whose mother or father or husband passed away, and it was journey about losing my dad when they felt like someone really got it; the truth is that I needed their emails as much as they needed my post.
And, I’ve received hundreds of messages related to having a “secret bff,” my counselor (and asking her phone number!), and so many from moms struggling each day with internal heartache as they navigate tough moments where they feel judged, when they should be embraced.
So I’m just going to do it. I’m going to keep sharing.
…. and for the record, I am incredibly happy I got the boob job.
The best thing about going to those weird, awkward places is that it can lead you closer to your truth, your real self and your joy in a more powerful way than you ever realized.