I’m currently doing the hardest, most demanding, most self sacrificing, and most rewarding job of my life.
It’s a position where I have never wondered more about my skills, doubted myself or my ability to communicate than I have in this role.
And, while it’s the most important job I’ll ever have, I have absolutely no training.
Well, I suppose you can now count on-the-job-training but that’s pretty scary when you consider the importance.
I’m talking about being a mom.
Some days I lose my temper, I give my kids iPads longer than I should, let them watch TV with dinner (which is sometimes toast with eggs because how I wonder how do other moms have all this time to meal plan?), and I forget to bring diapers and wipes and extra underwear on an outing, or wish time would go faster so it can be bedtime because I’m so freaking tired.
And, I wonder what happened.
I went to college for SEVEN YEARS for my career.
And I’m not a doctor or teach or research to find cures for serious illnesses.
Yup, I’m in public relations. I deal in the world of marketing, social media and getting clients news coverage.
I went to college for seven years to earn a master’s in strategic communications, yet have no education or experience for this intensely more significant role…. mom-ing.
So it all makes sense now.
There are days when I wonder what the heck I’m doing, and when I want to cry and hide in the bathroom because it feels like everyone has a hang of this mom thing and I’m utterly failing. Chronic self-imposed mom guilt.
It feels like I’m making major life decisions all the time based solely on that gut feeling and prayer that I’m doing this thing right.
But then I realized, most of us moms — behind the perfect Facebook facade that we all know really isn’t true but somehow can’t let that truth sink in — we all have these days.
Where food is all over the floor, where your house feels like it’s exploded, when laundry is piling up, and kids won’t listen, and they throw tantrums because you peeled the banana or you put too much or too little peanut butter on their bread.
Besides the emails we subscribe to, the tribe of friends who are equally honest about their struggles (thank goodness for them), and the parenting books we try to keep up with on sleeping and eating and basically not raising entitled jerks, we are learning as we go.
So I realized…. with that in mind, I’m doing a pretty awesome job.
We tell our children to not compare themselves (comparison is the thief of joy) yet mom-ing can feel like the ultimate comparison game.
Whether it’s because of those creative Pinterest moms with what seems like endless hours and enthusiasm, you feel like you’re somehow failing.
But, you’re not. We are each doing our mom thing in our way, some of us with more of a natural knack at this gig than others.
Like any real job, we make mistakes, we might scream or lose our temper but it’s how we act afterward that makes all the difference.
We love our children so fiercely it hurts. We show up, we apologize, we show them that we are present and what matters most. We focus on what we can do well.
Because let’s be honest. My children won’t remember the little moments of incorrectly peeled bananas, and me yelling about messes in the house.
They’ll remember how fiercely I loved, supported them and showed them they are capable of everything.
And that’s a major mom success to me.